I saved my son's life today...
It started with a banana. Actually, it started with my husband trying to eat dinner, and our son deciding that he wanted to eat too. Lately, he's wanted to do everything we're doing, at the same time, and I saw how badly he wanted to eat something with us. So I mashed up a banana and sat him on my lap, facing me, happy to give him what he was asking for. He became so excited, that he was kicking off of me, not realizing that past me was a drop to the floor. I did everything I could to assure him that I wasn't holding out on him, and that I was giving him what he asked for, when he nearly kicked the bowl right out of my hand, and almost fell. Grabbing him suddenly, I had to think about how I needed to hold him so that he could get what he asked me for, while keeping him safe. I had to hold him facing away from me, so that if he got excited again, he would just push against me. At the end of feeding him, I said, "Little man, you've got to learn how to trust me."
I heard the Holy Spirit laugh, and then I was reminded of the passages in Matthew 6:25-33:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I've read this verse dozens of times in my life, but in that moment, where I had to catch my son and re-arrange my approach to his desires, I understood it on an entirely different level. How often in my life has God had to look at my fixation on the things I wanted and said, "She's gonna hurt herself over this... she doesn't see that 'life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.' She is so obsessed with _____ that I've got to re-arrange some things in order for me to be able to meet her need. I wish she would just trust me a little." I knew TJ's need before he even started indicating what it was, and I wanted so badly to meet that need. Few things give me more joy than giving him what he's asking of me. Why don't I believe, that if I as a wicked person want to give my son good things, that my perfect Abba wouldn't want to do the same for me? If TJ had sought my hand over what my hand could provide, and knew my heart was FOR him, then there would have been no concern that he was going to hurt himself in his excitement. If I only lived like I KNEW my Abba is for me, and that He already knows what I need, and what he wants is for me to seek His kingdom and trust that He provides, and provides well... How much more satisfaction would I experience?
