But it looks good...

I feel like as parents, especially of toddlers, half our job is just keeping them from hurting themselves. Like the other day, when a mug fell off the counter while I was washing dishes. Instead of just looking for the broken ceramic, I had to contain my son in his playpen before I could start cleaning. Since he had been asking anyway, I gave him a snack of some Kix cereal in a little bowl so he had something to occupy his attention while I swept the floor. By the time I was finished, he had taken his cereal bowl and dumped it, flinging it from one end of the living room to the other. I shook my head, telling him that he wasted good cereal and swept up the living room, the Kix joining the broken ceramic in my almost full trash can. I bet at this point, you can see where this story is going, but for those who can't, let me continue. I set my little one free, and he goes to inspect what happened in the kitchen. He decided to check the trash can, which he knows to stay away from, and found his cereal among the broken ceramic pieces. He picked a piece out and ATE IT! When I saw what he had done, I put my fingers in his mouth to sweep it out and he bit me, swallowed and smiled, completely unaware that what just happened could have been an emergency room visit.

What would drive my son to do something so dangerous, so disgusting, when he had been explicitly instructed to stay away from the trash can? Good question, and I think it's been asked of particular biblical figures as well: Adam and Eve.

Many have mused over why when given the entire garden of Eden did they decide to eat the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. They had been absolutely forbidden from even touching it, saying if they ate it, they would die. Some say it's because Satan tricked them, saying, "Certainly, you won't die," and they were deceived into believing God was holding out on them. I think it's a little more basic than that. The text says that Eve saw the fruit was pleasing to the eye, was good for food, and desirable for gaining wisdom, so she ate it and subsequently gave it to Adam. (Genesis 3:6) Like my toddler, Adam and Eve had no context for "you will die." She just knew it looked good and what she would gain from it immediately was good, so even though God said stay away from it, it couldn't have been that bad, right?

There have been many times in my own life where God instructed me to stay away from something, whether it was a relationship, a job, a ministry opportunity, and he didn't give a very long-winded answer as to why; just, "This is not good for you. Don't touch that." Much like my toddler has no context of the dangers of eating broken pieces of mug and trash with his cereal, and Eve had no context for the idea of death, I have no foresight as to everything else that comes with what I take on or take in. I can't know how this one situation will breed nothing but insecurity and bitterness and create death in my life. When I have acted in disobedience, I recognize that it's only his grace, holding me down and sweeping out my mouth to keep me from ingesting all the destruction, all the evil that is bred through that disobedience. Recently, I had to walk away from an obligation I took on a year and a half ago that looked good at the time, looked like I would be helping people, looked like God would be glorified, that has only created anger, disappointment, and brokenness. I didn't ask God how he felt about the situation, but acted impulsively, thinking, that looks like an excellent thing, when in reality, it had far more attached than I realized.

We all want to believe we know what's best for us, but in the examples of Adam and Eve and my own little one, we can see that's not always true. More often than not, we don't even know what's good for us, let alone what's best for us. I am the first person to ask "Why?" with full expectation that I should get an answer from whoever I'm asking (including God.) That said, part of obedience is receiving, "Because I said so." Now, I'm not saying that answer isn't frustrating, but the fact of the matter that there is plenty I don't understand or have context for, and even if God were to be gracious enough to break it down for me, I'll have no idea what He means. It's a particular kind of humility that allows for this, but the rewards for obedience are peace, fruitfulness, prosperity, and God dwelling in our lives. (Leviticus 26) That sounds way better than a snack packaged in potential death.

Abba, thank you for showing me how often I rationalize doing the wrong thing. It's easy to see what we want to see instead of everything that comes with our latest obsession. Help me take pause when I feel you calling me away from what appears to be a good thing, and remind me that you don't withhold anything from your children that they need. In Jesus name, amen.