You're the best!

My big guy responds to positive reinforcement and praise like nothing I've ever seen. Every time I say, "Gosh, you're such a good big brother," or "You are so smart!" he just fills to the brim of his being with pride. Often I'll just tell him, "Buddy, you're the best" to which he responds, "No problem" or "Thank you Mama." (I know, adorable.) Compare that now to a friend of mine, older woman, who told her daughter, in her 30's, that she was the best. Her daughter rolled her eyes, and said, "Mom, stop." I gagged on my sadness, and with my hand over my heart explained to them how hurt I would be if that was my 2 year old's response. I would ask what I had done to make him feel like anything less than what I call him. I would wonder when he stopped believing what I said about him was true.

You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world.

Did you just cringe?

You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.

I've known many through the years that root their identity in, "I'm a child of God," and then reject everything else the Father calls them, embracing instead that twinge in our heart that shrinks back and away from such big titles; such implicated responsibility. Maybe because children are products of circumstance, whether creation or adoption, and aren't liable for much. They are protected, provided for, educated and except for requests of small contributions to the family dynamic aren't expected of. To quote my friend, "I am completely inferior to Him. He is my father, who I go to for help. I am nothing without him, so I can't answer to higher things like..." Friend, Purposed, Gifted... But why? When did we stop believing what our Father says about us to be true?

One reason would be we live in a world where if I am to be the best, you can't be. The message we get is we all can't be chosen, some people just aren't gifted or at least don't have as valuable gifts as others and we're not special. I've been told by many I have a way with words, but my junior year in college, had a professor write on my paper, "You are not only a trapped writer but a trapped person." He never explained what that meant, but the event drained all confidence in a passion the Father had put in my heart from childhood. I didn't write so much as a haiku for almost 10 years because I believed one man's authority was greater than my Abba.

Then we have the Voice in our head, who will take what we experience in the world and turn it into shame. The Voice focuses on our sin and asks if we are a Friend of Jesus, why do we return to it like a dog to it's vomit? It asks if we are gifted, why does everything we touch turn to salt? It asks if we are purposed why hasn't God given us what we need in order to fulfill that purpose and points out all the times we have felt left to flounder. It's seeds of doubt root fear in our heart, and blocks off access to the Father's love. We don't want to outright accuse Him, but what the Voice says feels so true we turn in on ourselves and shut down. If what the Father says about us is most important, we have to think about what the Father calls that Voice: Accuser, Adversary and Thief. He was a liar from the beginning and contrary to how it sounds does not have your protection in mind but would rather leave you paralyzed and ineffective.

That leaves that twinge and shrinking away we feel to address. My husband illustrated it this way, "When I say, 'Yes, I'm holy or chosen, or purposefully gifted,' it puts a spotlight on me, and that makes me really uncomfortable." Things like, "saint," and "righteous," are concepts that we have an idea of what that maybe looks like, but when we look in the mirror, we confidently say that's definitely not me. To resonate with them feels false, and so we shy away from them saying, "No, please don't hold me up in that regard. I can't live up to that standard." We think ourselves as being humble, but if we're honest, we're afraid of not measuring up; we're afraid of our own ego being bruised. This is the definition of false humility, and while I know it's uncomfortable and daunting to push through and reject our own sense of self preservation, this posture neither glorifies God or advances His kingdom.

So how do we get back to that childlike faith that believes what our Father says about us is most true? I like starting off with a little test, going over what God says about me and asking on a scale of 1-10 how much I agree with it, 10 being completely. Start by agreeing with what you confidently see. That yes, you really are a child of God, wholly and dearly loved. Then move onto the parts that seem too good to be true, push past the false humility, the Voice and your experiences and open yourself to saying yes to those too. Yes, you are a holy, righteous saint. Yes, you are God's special possession, of great value and importance to His plan for this world. Yes, whether you hear from Him directly, touch people and see them healed, are filled overflowing with mercy or experience any of the many other gifts mentioned through the word, you are gifted, and purposed to use that gift for His glory.  Author and friend, John Lynch, shared this truth with my church this weekend: All that He is has been fused into you. You are Christ in you even on your worst day. (Colossians 1:27) and Jesus said to the degree the Father loves Him, you are loved. Accepting these opens you to the new Kingdom reality you have been made to exist in and allows you to flourish into the person the Father says you are.