My husband and I were told last week that our 9 month old should be walking any day now. He's been cruising for awhile, and for a long time, our living room was cut in half by a makeshift barricade, to keep his activity contained. Parents are typically told not to give their kids too much space at first, because they can get "stuck" where they are. Stuck in the sense that they've ventured further than they're comfortable and aren't quite sure how to get back. Keeping their spaces small at first will give them a sense of security and keep them from getting stuck too far away. Our little guy started trying to climb our barricade, and even one point squished himself between the boxes and wiggled his way to the other side, and we knew it was time to change the boundary. We finally moved the barricade to between the kitchen and living room, and have expanded his territory by double! He still gets stuck, usually when he's tired, and will fall on the floor, face into the carpet, and cry. One of us will rescue him and bring him back to the familiarity of the toy box or the book shelf, but it's never long before he crawls or cruises away.
I think sometimes, we look at the boundaries in our lives and see them as permanent fixtures, which we've grown accustomed to. Some of these boundaries are comfortable for awhile, but eventually, we ask God to break them down and expand our territory, and then when He does, we're not really sure what to do. This sure happened with Peter, in Matthew 14, when he saw Jesus walking on the water. It says that the disciples were terrified, and cried out, thinking Jesus was a ghost. Peter was the only one who said, "If it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," Jesus replied. Knowing that Jesus had the authority to break down the boundary between the floor of the boat and the fluidity of the water, and expand his territory, he stepped onto the water, and out of the boat. He was walking on water toward Jesus! The account goes on to say that as he was walking, the wind picked up, and he became afraid, and he started to sink. He cried out, "Lord! Save me!" and Jesus immediately reached out his hand and grabbed him. Lifting Peter to his feet, I can imagine the disheartened tone Jesus had when he said, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:22-33)
Peter is a great example of how we'll move into expanded territory, become afraid of the unknown and unfamiliar and get stuck. He was given brand new territory that signified so much: an authority over the basic understanding of how life worked. He trusted that Jesus could give him that authority, and stepped out into the unknown. When he got too far from what he was accustomed to, he became afraid and got stuck. All he could do was cry out to Jesus to be saved. God is always matching our maturity with relocating boundaries and expanding our territory into spaces we never thought we'd go. They can be at work, within relationships, in ministry, or even with our own kiddos. As we're traversing this new territory, it's easy to see something that was benign or manageable from our former boundary, like wind from inside of a boat, and become terrified. What can this exposure cost me? What could these factors do to me over here as opposed to over there? We freeze and get stuck and start crying out, the way my son does, when he loses his confidence in his ability to get back to us. In those moments, we have to believe that Jesus isn't standing over us, berating us, calling us a loser and telling us to just get going, or kicking us when we start going down. He is there, full of compassion, and almost hurt that we doubted him; That we doubted expanded territory comes with greater authority.
I'm being called into a new season, and let me tell you, I am not prepared for this. It seems the things God is entrusting me with, or giving me authority over I either never wanted or had other plans for. The circumstances that surround this territory can be absolutely terrifying, and often I wonder what I'm doing, or if I go too far, if I will find my way back. There are days I long for my old boundary, and would feel so much safer and happier behind my wall. If you are in a similar place, I encourage you, listen for Jesus, and throw your hands up. In the same way I rescue my son when he gets stuck, He will rescue us. But if we're not afraid (of the wind and waves) and just believe (in the authority He gives us, and His ability in and though us) as were the words of Jesus so many times to those who walked with him, we will find ourselves running before we know it.
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