Weary and Heavy Laden

It was only 7:30pm, a full hour and a half before his bedtime, but that didn't stop him from rubbing his eyes. He was SO tired that it took all he had to look up at me, finding my lap empty and my arms open. "You ok, baby?" I asked, while he looked down at the toys at his hands, quickly abandoning them. In a desperate search for rest, he crawled up me, laid his head adjacent to my heart. and within seconds,was asleep. Being the overactive toddler he's become in recent months, this never happens, and I thought about how tired he must have been while I recounted the day's activities. As I felt him fully settle into my chest, I felt my own exhaustion well up. Being 5 months pregnant, working as much as I can, taking orders for the coming holidays, being present and involved in community, and just trying to keep up with dishes and laundry. I exhaled sharply while my arms wrapped around him. Oh little one, I'm glad you trust me with your rest. I wish I had a lap to crawl into too.

"You do." I heard the Father say. I was immediately reminded of Jesus saying, "Come to Me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) I think many of us have a concept of weariness or what it means to be laden that requires we wait until we can no longer stand on our own before we come to Jesus. We go to Jesus as though He's a triage nurse, with our blisters and open sores, broken hearts and bones, battered, abused and Sabbath denied souls, and then finally surrender to rest, only after we're literally forced on our backs.

As a mom, it's especially tough, because there are many demands and what feels like no days off. The expectation is that if I take even a moment off, the whole world will end. I can't afford to rest. This tape that plays over and over in my head makes parenthood a heavy and difficult yoke. Something that drags me around and if I stop trying to keep up, my work in the morning will just be double what it is today. I've seen how dishes and dust can quickly accumulate and my little one's needs don't lessen just because I'm too tired to meet them.

These concepts of weary and burdened don't serve us but only lead to burnout. Jesus says His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. (vs 29)  He's offering to partner with in terms of accomplishment, and is not a taskmaster demanding we get it all done ourselves. Maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said we must become like little children, who look for empty laps and open arms when they feel tiredness setting in, and who call out for assistance when things get hard instead of trying to tough it out. Who are moved by what brings us together and brings them joy, not a list of things to accomplish.

This world is a taxing place to live, whether you're a Wall Street lawyer or a stay at home mom, and the options for rest can feel so limited, and sometimes, non-existent. His invitation calls to all of us: "Come, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." A rest that's as good as a Father's tender lap and warm hug while we settle our exhausted souls into Him, knowing only there, we will be restored.

Abba, thank you for the faith my little one has in my ability to provide for him, not just his body, but also his soul. I ask that You would increase my faith to believe the same of You, that You desire to partner with me in the tasks the day sets before me, and that when my body and soul are weary, that You want to scoop me up and give me rest. I lay down the expectations I have for myself and what I should be able to do without Your help, and ask Your forgiveness for trying so hard to do it all. Thank you for Your merciful ways of bringing my shortcomings to light, and for covering me with the arms of grace and truth. I receive Your heart for me today. In Jesus name.