Waiting for the Father

I hope everyone had a gratitude filled Thanksgiving, where you had space to recount all the things we can be thankful for. I've always thought of holidays as excuses to extravagantly display what's in our hearts all year long. For me, it's the beginning of baking season, and I get a number of calls asking for desserts of various kinds. Usually, I have a couple chaotic flour filled days and then then the dust settles, the counter gets wiped off and I'm done for a few weeks. This year, though, is my first trying to get through the holidays with a TODDLER! It was adorable when he wanted to cut cookies with me, and visions of him growing up baking with his Mama made my heart warm and glad. But then came the piercing screaming when my husband took him back to the living room so that I could keep working. Who knew 2 days of baking around the clock would convince my son I had signed papers to give him up for adoption?? He reached and cried and threw himself on the ground as though I was taking these cookies as my new children. He's only 1 year and 7 months old, so there's no reasoning with him. He just knew I was paying a lot of attention to something else, so it obviously meant I didn't love him.

Hopefully, you see the lunacy in his reasoning. However it did reveal and posit one question: Isn't this exactly what we do to God when we see Him blessing someone while we're waiting for our answer to prayer to come?

As I thought about my son's reaction to my attention being elsewhere, I thought of the story of Lazarus (John 11:1-44.) Jesus' best friend had just died, which Jesus knew would happen, and He gathered His disciples with the intention on going and raising him. Getting to his home, he was met with Lazarus' sisters, Mary and Martha. My favorite verse, which lays bare the humanity in all of us, is when Martha says, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." After seeing if her faith was still firm, and if she still believed He was the Christ, he spoke to Mary, who reiterated her sister's words. Even though Martha followed up saying, "But I know, even now, God will give you whatever you ask," these women laid all of their grief and blame for Lazarus's death on Jesus. It was as though they was saying, "If you really loved us, this would not have happened. If you were paying more attention to us, instead of whatever else you were busy doing, this would not have happened. God will give you whatever you ask, and you were too busy asking for others and look what happened." The weight Jesus must have felt in this statement drew him to Lazarus' grave, where he wept. I can see Him, with His hands over His face, buckling under disappointment and all the hurt these women and friends have felt over this death, and crying out that sickened feeling He must have had in His stomach. He forsaw what was to come was for the glory of the Father, that He was "preoccupied" for the absolute best of reasons, but it didn't matter. All these women knew was in their time of need, Jesus didn't show up, and now, it was seemingly too late.

It is hard to wait for Jesus to show up in the face of dire circumstances, since debt, sickness, and general feelings of hopelessness don't give us a day off. Oftentimes, we fear might He won't be in time. When we see Him answering the prayers of others, fulfilling their needs, even providing for the sparrows while we struggle to make ends meet every month, we quickly interpret it as, "He just doesn't love me as much." We have no idea how long those who are being blessed have prayed patiently, have waited with bated breath for God to rescue them from their circumstances, but if we were honest, it wouldn't matter if we did. We are children who want to be the single concern in the mind of our Father, and when we are not, no matter the reason, the interpretation is abandonment.

So how can we be happy for those we see being blessed in the midst of waiting for our prayers to be answered? I think part of it comes from knowing that our Father is often doing other things that we might not see for our benefit. In my case, I was baking so I could provide for my family, which directly affects my son, even if he doesn't see it's effects until later. In Mary and Martha's case, He had something much bigger in mind than just healing their brother. In either instance, the love of the parent to the child did not waver or change. Remaining confident that God does ALL He does for our sake will help us wait expectantly for His hand to move in our lives.

I think another part is realizing waiting on the LORD is a practice that requires strength. Psalm 27 says, "Wait for the LORD. Be strong, take heart and wait for the LORD." Being involved in a community that will maintain hope with you, continuing to cry out on your behalf, and be with you in the waiting is crucial to successfully maintaining your faith and joy.

Finally, looking for where God is showing up in our lives as opposed to where He isn't can completely change our attitude in waiting, and give us confidence in His faithfulness. If when Jesus showed up, Mary and Martha realized that, (while yes, if He had been there earlier, their brother would not have died,) He was there with them, maybe they would have responded to Him differently. Much like if my little one relied on my character, previous actions, and the fact that I had not abandoned him, but was seriously 20 feet away from him at all times, acknowledging God's presence in the midst of our critical circumstances, that He's not asking us to remain desperate in silence or alone, that He is a God whose concern is never far from us can serve to bolster our faith.

I pray this coming season is one of merriment and abundant joy for all of us, but the ugly reality is that many of us are facing pressing matters. I pray that as we are pressed, we find ourselves against the Father, wrapped in His arms, reminded of the all the instances He has not abandoned us, surrounded with a great cloud of witnesses who believe on our behalf, and with the knowledge that if you woke up this morning, your story isn't over and He is still acting for your sake, even if you don't see it. Amen.