I'm right here (Always)

My son woke up the other day absolutely hysterical. As I ran into his room, I noticed his eyes were closed, his backside was in the air, and he was rolling and wriggling around in his crib and he had no idea that I was only a foot away from him. I stayed quiet for about a minute to see if he would open his eyes, as that’s all he would have to do to notice my presence. Eventually, I whispered, “Hey… I’m right here.” He stopped crying immediately and stood in his crib, reaching eagerly for me. He cried out for my presence, and when he had it, he was fine, but it took him awhile to figure out I was there, because he was so consumed with feeling alone, he didn’t even open his eyes to look for me. I talk to a lot of believers today that tell me that they don’t hear from God or sense God in their lives. That maybe they heard Him at a retreat a few years ago, or maybe when they were younger, but even then, they’re not sure it was God. They’ve told me that they tried praying, but feel like they’re talking to themselves, so they stop. They assume that because they don’t hear something, or feel something, that God isn’t there.

We may not always tangibly sense it, but God is always present with us. In Isaiah, He says His covenant with us is that His presence will be with us always, and that His words are in the mouth of the descendents of that time on to forever. (Isaiah 59:21) And Jesus, before returning to the Father, left His disciples with these words, “Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20) I think the word choice God used is so important for us to understand: always. Always is defined as, “every time; on every occasion; without exception.” Every time. Every Occasion. Without Exception. Let that sink in to your particular situation.

I think sometimes, God stands right behind us, to see if we’ll turn around, open our eyes and reach for Him, or if we’ll let our feelings of being alone or abandoned in our distress consume us. I was seriously 6 inches away from my son, but I’m sure if you ask him, I was nowhere, and he was in the dark, left alone for a long time. Some might ask why I didn’t immediately say something, or touch him and reassure him, but it’s because he knows my presence, and I wanted him to act on what he knows of my character and not what his feelings were presenting. God has proven Himself good and faithful, despite what my circumstances say, and when I can’t feel Him or hear Him, whether it’s because the noise is too loud, or the impending doom is overwhelming, I will turn my eyes until I find Him, because I can trust He is never far away, and usually, He’s much closer than I expect Him to be.

I know I make it sound easy, but understand, I know what it’s like to frantically search for God. During my maternity leave, I said, “We are so screwed,” more than anything else. The money wasn’t adding up, the bills were getting higher, calls from creditors more frequent, all while our needs continued to go unmet. It was hard to find God, but we did, and He was so close, with hands open and full of blessing and mercy. Even as I write this, I sense that some of you reading this are like the disciples in the boat with Jesus (from Mark 4), where the waves are so fierce, and the wind is so loud, and you see Jesus, but you aren’t sure if He cares enough not to let you drown. To you, I say God is always working things for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) Knowing that He is with you means you can trust in His strength, which is perfected in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 2:9)  

If you need to know God is with you today, pray with me that He would reveal Himself, and that you would learn what His presence feels like; That His presence would linger like the sweet smell of incense in your home, and that the weight of His glory would shadow you. And that as you become familiar with His presence, that His heart would be revealed to you, that He is for you, and His character is one who never goes back on His promises. He said He is with you always.

Abba, I feel like there is a wall between us, where I can’t tell if You’re there. I can hear a thousand times that you are with me, but it just doesn’t feel like it, and more often than not, I feel like I’m just talking to myself. But despite how I feel, I cry out and ask You to reveal Yourself. That you would open my eyes to see Your hand, and attune my spirit to Your presence. Mark me with peace, that You are with me, no matter how fierce the waves are or how loud the wind blows. Cradle me in Your presence that I might hear Your heart, and Your love for me. Create in me a faith that believes You are faithful to Your promises, and You promised to never leave me. Thank You for being faithful to me, and for never being more than an arm’s length away. In Jesus name.

If you prayed and would like to share what the Lord has done in your life, or if you would like continued prayer, please comment or send me a message. I love to rejoice in the work God brings through this, and pray for those it touches. May God continue to reach us through our children. <3